Supporting families to respond to sex education and LGBT in schools and society.

SOME COMMON QUESTIONS
& ANSWERS


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FREQUENT ANSWERS

& QUESTIONS

Frequently Asked Questions

Primary Schools

What is statutory in Primary Schools?

All primary schools must:

§ teach Relationships Education

§ have a Relationships and Sex Education policy

§ consult with parents about their Relationships Education teaching

§ Allow parents to withdraw from non-statutory sex education classes upon request

Do parents have the right to withdraw?

Parents have a right to withdraw from sex education classes throughout their child’s primary years.

Withdrawal requests must be made in writing and in accordance with the school’s Relationship and Sex Education policy.

You can use this handy template to withdraw your child from non-statutory sex education classes in your child’s primary school.

My child’s school has requested a meeting, do I go?

Most policies state that the school will arrange a meeting with parents before executing a parent’s withdrawal request. There is no requirement in law to attend such a meeting or for your request to be conditioned on such a meeting. This does not mean you should not attend but you should know your attendance is voluntary.

You should know that the school will seek to talk you out of your decision.

If you are sure you would prefer to withdraw your children you should say this at the meeting.

The school may ask you to provide a reason for withdrawal. You can say:

I would prefer to teach my child about matters relating to sex and relationships myself according to my own faith values.

I believe the role of educating my child about sex and relationships is my responsibility

You should also ask to be kept updated about what they are teaching and when so you can ensure you reflect this when you speak to your child about sex and relationships.

You must not see withdrawal as the solution in and of itself.

When you withdraw you must commit to taking control of this responsibility.

All parents whether they exercise their right to withdraw must take responsibility for this responsibility.

Secondary Schools

What is statutory in secondary schools?

Relationships and Sex Education is statutory in all secondary schools.

Do parents have the right to withdraw?

Parents have the right to request withdrawal from the sex education element of RSE. You cannot withdraw from the Relationships Education element.

Unlike in primary schools, your request to withdraw is not automatic.

As the final decision rests with the head teacher.

In most cases the head teacher will approve your request.

Withdrawal requests must be made in writing and in accordance with the school’s Relationship and Sex Education policy.

You can use this handy template to withdraw your child from the sex education element of RSE in your child’s secondary school.

My child’s school has requested a meeting, do I go?

Most policies state that the school will arrange a meeting with parents before executing a parent’s withdrawal request. There is no requirement in law to attend such a meeting or for your request to be conditioned on such a meeting. This does not mean you should not attend but you should know your attendance is voluntary.

You should know that the school will seek to talk you out of your decision.

If you are sure you would prefer to withdraw your child you should say this at the meeting.

The school may ask you to provide a reason for withdrawal. You can say:

I would prefer to teach my child about matters relating to sex and relationships myself according to my own faith values.

I believe the role of educating my child about sex and relationships is my responsibility

You should also ask to be kept updated about what they are teaching and when so you can ensure you reflect this when you speak to your child about sex and relationships.

You must not see withdrawal as the solution in and of itself.

When you withdraw you must commit to taking control of this responsibility.

All parents whether they exercise their right to withdraw or not must recognise our children are growing up in a hypersexualised society where their norms and behaviour are being shaped by the society in which they live.

The question we need to ask is why or what is shaping your children’s norms and behaviour?

Consultation

Do schools have to consult parents?

Prinary and secondary schools must consult parents about their RSE programmes.

What does meaningful consultation look like?

Consultation must be meaningful and not a tick box exercise.

Consultation must be:

§ An opportunity to listen to parental feedback about the resources

§ A two-way process

§ A transparent and open process

Parents do not have a veto and the final decisions rest with schools but there is an expectation that schools must listen, respond and make appropriate changes to the strongly held views of parents.

Parental Influence

What can parents ask to be changed?

Schools have been given flexibility in how and when they meet the statutory requirements.

When – schools must ensure that the learning outcomes and topic areas are covered by the end of a child’s time in a primary or secondary school. Schools must decide when to teach them.

How – the resources a school uses is not centrally mandated. This means the school has flexibility with regards to its choice of resources. Teaching must take into account the age and religious background of pupils.

As no two schools are the same, the practice in a school with 80% Muslim children should be very different to a school with 80% children who don’t identify with any religion. The problem is schools do not actively take into account the religious background of pupils and the most widely available resources

Resources

Are there any resources we can recommend to schools?

There are no resources that are 100% perfect. There are good and bad bits in all the popular resources.

What’s really important is to feedback on the aspects of the resources you find inappropriate. Whether this is explicit material or worksheets which promote particular familiar structures.

We will have a greater impact if we provide constructive feedback that is reasonable.

Do parents matter in schools?

Does parental pushback make a difference?

Nothing makes more of a difference.

Parents have the power to influence schools, but either don’t use it or we fail to use the correct methods.

Most schools want a good working relationship with parents. They are also led by humans. Schools are so swamped with day to day operational concerns that they don’t have the time to think beyond that.

We also have to factor in disengaged parents. We are often at schools but not part of them. We send our children to a school but are we engaged in the life of the school. If we approach schools with concerns, problems and complaints, how will we be perceived?

If we are engaged governors, supportive parents who volunteer our time, praising a school when they do well, our voice will have weight and gravitas.

As parents we can often send a message though what we say or don’t say.

When many schools run sessions around Relationships and Sex Education these are so poorly attended by parents that schools hear a message, ‘we’re not concerned. Carry on with what you’re doing’.

Questions from a single parent makes some difference. When more parents ask a school simple questions about what they teach and when, this sends a message to school that this is a priority concern for parents.

When a school fails to consult parents meaningfully, delivers an inappropriate lesson, brings in an outside speaker who misrepresents Islam’s position on same-sex relationships parents must take appropriate action. The most effective way to register your dissatisfaction and make it official is to use the school’s complaints procedure.

Although a school’s complaints procedure sets out how and who to complain to. You must clarify what you’re complaining about and what you want the school to do about it.

You must ensure your complaint is based in fact and the law.

We can help you if needed.

What is clear is that parental questions and complaints do force a school to reflect on their policies and practice and it does change the way a school does things.